40 is the new 20, just not on TV

Despite the fact I don't have television, I recently wanted to watch a reality show that doesn't exist. I wanted to see them take women who were in their forties and make them, "Hollywood Hot". Not just made over but made amazing. 'A list' amazing. I talked to a girl friend of mine who's husband is 'in the business' in Hollywood and it seems the problem is that, apparently, 40 year old women don't appeal to anyone. We're not the right demographic. You have to be between 20-something and 30-something to rate in 'television demographics'. If you didn't already know this, if you're 40 you no longer exist. Of course, this flies in the face of, "40 is the new 20" that we hear being bandied about lately. Really? Then where is my show?! If 40 is the new 20, why aren't we able to see a show that brings that forth?! Aaarrrggggh!!!

You know, since we don't appeal to anyone (tried dating lately?) and we're not (allowed) in night clubs and we don't appear on magazine covers, much less TV, exactly what are 40 year old women doing in the evenings, anyway? Do we not watch TV? Do the Neilsen ratings not even count us after 40? "Oh wait! Susan Smith just turned 40. We have to turn off her ratings-cabob thing on her TV. She no longer counts!"

So let me get this straight. We're so unappealing they can't even make television shows for us and this '40 is the new 20' thing is one of those stupid things made up to make us feel better, like when we tell men size doesn't matter. We're the baby boomer generation they all speak about in such large numbers, yet there aren't enough of us to watch TV? I don't get it.

I still want to see the show but since I can't do that, maybe I'll just have to live it. My impetus was a recent photo I saw of Demi Moore who had just turned 47. I am 4 months younger and I don't look like that. Oh, I used to. I had a 20" waist, beautiful skin, long flowing blonde hair and perfect proportions. I missed the 'petite modeling' phase by just a few years. Eileen Ford rejected my inquiry into petite modeling, saying there was no place for us. Later the Lilliput sprang forth in magazines everywhere. Great. I'd like to think I'm always on the cutting edge but it doesn't really help me. Or maybe it's that I just can't seem to help myself: A Playboy agent approached me at an event I was attending in L.A. when I was 19. I was shocked and all I could think about was what would my family think? At 46 I think I was an idiot. Even I want to see those pictures now. Damn it all anyway.

So, yeah, Demi looks like that because she has gobs of money to devote to her self-maintenance. I'm a single mom. I can't even afford a gym membership much less a personal trainer and frankly, even food and electricity is an issue, heck this is why I don't have TV. But, I do have some things on my side, like perseverance, and I've decided starting January 1st to spend the next 365 days changing my life. We'll probably never see that reality show but maybe I can live it instead, and who knows, maybe I'll find that card from the Playboy guy while I de-clutter myself and my house over the next year.