Day 80-96 I Never Really Went Away

photo credit xdianicx@flickr

I'm still here but I guess you could say I'm back!

I've not made any further diet progress because my hormones flatlined and pretty much took me out. I was so exhausted that my one and only goal every single day was to get back into bed, even if it were only for 15 minutes. I was setting alarms all day long to get up and take care of things. Insane. I also started a new project that's been cantankerous and I'm rebuilding BreastHealthOnline.org. I mostly ate well, but due to the aforementioned situations it's been challenging. There is no new timeline addition to kick this month off because it's basically the same as last month. Nothing lost, nothing really gained. It's OK because I made progress in other areas.

My hormone situation is slowly coming around, though, and thanks to the special Melatonin recommended in Mary Shomon's book, "The Menopause Thyroid Solution", I've slept better and am actually dreaming! Never mind I dreamed my 12 year old daughter (aka Paris Hilton) not only lives with me but had a dorm of her own AND her own posh apartment - complete with guinea pigs that I never knew she owned. Shut up. Oh and let me just add - her apartment was spotlessly clean, unlike real life. Craziness.

But unruly children, dreams and diets aside, I have made HUGE progress on my house! This was also one of my New Years Resolutions. I've made fabulous progress in this department despite the exhaustion. Every single room is clean, except my office is a bit messy again. Nonetheless, my house is CLEAN! My closet and all my clothes are clean! My sheets are clean! My daughters room and bathroom really are clean now - miracle! My stove and microwave are clean! My fridge is clean! 1600 sq feet of hardwood is CLEAN CLEAN CLEAN! I cleaned up part of the garage and I've kept it all clean (cleaned it repeatedly...) for weeks and weeks now with the exception of my office. This is a first in 10 years. I've never had the energy to clean it in its entirety, and I've certainly not had the energy to keep it up after that. Where I found this energy I have no idea but it came in spurts and then I'd crash a few days. Wash, rinse, repeat! Ugh!

And so on Saturday I found myself standing in a totally clean house and realized that I could actually host Easter dinner here without too much trouble. Another first in I don't know how many years - like at least 7 years.

So, I planned a simple menu and invited my mom because honestly she may not have many Easter's left. I had ordered some See's candy a week ago so that was already in place and I happened to have had a few dozen eggs on hand to color - don't ask!

I made:
Red Potato Salad
Waldorf salad with Poppyseed dressing
Creamed spinach with sliced egg
Deviled eggs
Banana walnut carrot cake with cream cheese frosting (my own crazy recipe that's in my head...)

Then I made boiled ham for my mom. Sounds awful but she always did it this way and it's very good, well if you eat this sort of thing. I was sad to buy a ham but I did it. It was an extremely small ham. I have feelings about the little piggy that went to market. Don't get me started. I can't tell you last time I bought anything like this and it's really for my mom. Which doesn't justify it. I know. I'll shut up now.

Despite the PETA repercussions, we had a lovely afternoon. I ate some things I don't usually/shouldn't have but I'm back now. Last night I ran, swam and did yoga and of course, got back on my diet program. Oh yes - I started yoga in the middle of all this. YAY! The things that Mary Shomon's book recommended are really helping - Royal Maca, sub-lingual progesterone and IODINE. More on this in the future - it's worth its own blog post.

So things are getting better and hopefully this hormone transition won't be too hard and things will become more stable for me.

It's a process! I've got the rest of the year ahead of me to work on everything but for now I'm loving my clean house. I feel all grown up!

Days 64-75 I've been busy!

Wow has it been 10 days? It really seems like 6 months.

Remember in the beginning when I said that besides getting a grip on my diet and body I wanted to take control of my house and weed out all the clutter?

Well, I've been doing that. It actually dawned on me a few days ago that I've been SPRING CLEANING - and it's not even spring yet. Is it possible that for once in my life I'm ahead?!

Oh I've been doing other projects than cleaning my house. Let's see, there was that appointment I had with stress and a myriad of other new things in my life as well as the old things like dealing with a pre-teen and an elderly mother with no memory. Hers, not mine, though I'd like to forget, I really really would!

Anyway I realized I've made much more progress than I thought. Here's the list:

Cleaned microwave & stove.
Cleaned out the fridge and pantry completely. So nice!
Cleaned my aviaries - huge job! The cats still wonder when those little suckers will be big enough to eat.
Cleaned out my closet. Took out 4 HUGE bags of clothes not needed and sent to a friend who did need them.
Cleaned my master suite completely - took my bed all apart. Washed the sheets, blankets and comforter twice.
Vacuumed the hardwood twice and mopped it twice to boot.
Cleaned all the floor to ceiling mirrors, the vanity mirrors and my gilt tri-mirror. Wow, I can actually see myself now!
Cleaned my dressing room vanity up and cleaned my bathroom too.

So all that plus my regular duties and everything I do over at BreastHealthOnline.org.

As for my diet, it's not been perfect, though my weight remains the same. I'm struggling with stress and I'm also struggling with some pretty severe exhaustion. I cannot figure it out. I do not think it's the diet. I think it is either stress, which I handle very poorly thanks to a former brain tumor or it's the hysterectomy and I need something - like progesterone. I've also not made it to the gym or any other form of exercise. I just can't find the time and any extra time I do have I am falling asleep. It's sort of like narcolepsy - I am falling asleep even driving short distances :(

Either way, it totally TOTALLY sucks. I slept much of today and still wake up just BONE TIRED. I HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE it more than I can even say.

Yes, I should go to the doctor. Right. Have you read about the 'medical care' I typically get? Yeah. I'd basically have to diagnose myself and go in and tell them what to do. When I figure out what's wrong with me, I'll do that.

In the meantime I've not given up. It's just a part of the road. I'm staring down turning 47 on Saturday - first day of Spring. It was bothering me and now I really don't give a damn. I just want my energy back. It sucks to drag your body around all day and force it through a bunch of motions it doesn't want to do. I was lucky to get all that cleaning done for myself. It's long overdue because of my exhaustion levels. At least it's good for now.

If you have any extra energy send it my way ;)

Day 63 Week 9

photo credit ratterrell@flickr

I'm just gonna run on by and update 'cause I'm working on something else and gotta get back to it.

This week I ate 20 bananas and 60 oranges. I did not get any treadmill or swimming in. Today I have a terrible headache. I'm not eating quite enough and I'm a little dehydrated. My weight is the same though I am feeling a bit thinner in the hips and bum area!

To date I've walked 31.15 miles, swam 7.5 miles and have eaten 233 bananas and 322 oranges. The banana and orange count amazes me!

9 weeks down, 43 to go!

Day 62 Sanity Preservation

photo credit Silly lil' Doe!@flickr

Today I just took it easy. I had the luxury of being home all day and my daughter had late band practice. I didn't have to face the world til 4:30 p.m. I felt like I'd won the lottery. I was so happy to be home. I did whatever I wanted, which actually ended up being cleaning my bird aviary and then I had a short nap with the cats and dog. I also ate whatever I wanted and left the world behind for the day.

Tomorrow is another day and everything will be back on track. I have to say I love this lifestyle because returning to it is very compelling. Again, I think via this blog and the support of my friends that by planning to care for myself over the course of the year can only bring positive and lasting results. The effects one one day of down time can't negate the other 364.

Below I'm including a link to an article on two simple ways to be a happier parent. Now, it could just be my mood today but I really expected this article to mention duct tape and cyanide. Surprisingly, no. Well, maybe it will help someone else :D

Two Simple Ways to Be a Happier Parent

Day 60 New Month!

photo credit iheartlinen@flickr

Once again a new month before me. I'm hoping I'll lose some weight this month. The inches are great but I'm not interested in being the only 170 lb size 2 person on the planet! I know I build muscle with exercise. That's great but lets get the weight off please.

Last month was hard, lots of stress and then I was sick. I am fortunate to have lost the 13.5 inches. Eating more simply works a lot better. I feel I have my food routine down well. It's interesting to see what a habit this has become and how there's really no turning back. Besides fruit and vegetables being such a huge part of my life, I never used to eat breakfast. I eat breakfast everyday now. I eat much more and more regularly than I have my whole life. I really look forward to fruit for breakfast and big salads later in the day. While I might not be following a perfect continuum, I think the progress over this year will be interesting and gratifying. I'm also curious how many other people are still working on their New Year's resolutions. I am!

With winter being so long it seems this year and having to care for my mom and try to keep my head above water, it's been hard to get to the gym. My sleep remains a disaster. I hope to still get more exercise in, miraculously fix my sleep and get to the gym more this month. HA!

I turn 47 on the 20th of this month - the first day of Spring. Please send some happy headway thoughts my way :)

Day 59 Weights, Measures and Pictures!

2 months down.

Even more so than last month when I was thinking there wouldn't be much discernible change, I was thinking there would be no change at all this month. I figured a new photo would be a waste of time as it wouldn't show any changes whatsoever. I took a pic anyway just to prove to myself there were no changes.

But while the scales registered virtually no loss, happily the measurements and pics told another story. I strongly recommend people use measurements and photos and not just rely on the scale to track their progress.

Below are all the stats and time line pics. Again, the surgery noted on the pics was a hysterectomy where they found a severe case of endometriosis. I did not have a tummy tuck or gastric surgery or anything like that. I am now 3 months post op from all of that.

Starting weight: 192 (Nov)
Current weight: 170

Total weight lost:
22 lbs since November.
10 lbs lost in January.
No weight lost in February.

Total inches lost:
32 inches lost in January.
13.5 inches lost in February - this really took me by surprise.
45.5 inches lost to date - YAY!

12/31
Weight 180
Neck 15
Chest 41
Bust 45
Midriff 38
waist 40 (on Nov 16th, 2 weeks before my surgery, this measurement was 48". The additional 8 inches is not factored into my inch loss.)
Belly 45
Hips 45
Thigh 26
Knee 20
Calf 15.5
Ankle 8.5
Bicep 16
Forearm 9.5
Wrist 6.25
Hair 16

1/31
Weight 170
Neck 14.5
Chest 37
Bust 42
Midriff 35
Waist 35 (I've lost 13 inches since Nov here!)
Belly 43
Hips 42
Thigh 24.5
Knee 16
Calf 14.75
Ankle 8
Bicep 12.5
Forearm 8.75
Wrist 5.75
Hair 18 (I'm growing my hair...)

2/28
Weight 170
Neck 13.5
Chest 35
Bust 40
Midriff 33.5
Waist 33 (I've lost 15 inches since Nov here!)
Belly 42
Hips 40
Thigh 23.5
Knee 15.5
Calf 14.5
Ankle 8
Bicep 12.5
Forearm 8.5
Wrist 5.75
Hair 18.5 (I'm growing my hair...)




Wow. I was totally wrong about the changes. I'm excited. My daughter asked me if the new picture was one of the ones she was playing around with in photoshop in January. NO IT IS NOT! There is absolutely no photo shopping done here at all.

She was amazed.

I'm amazed she's still living. LOL.

Again, can't wait to see the changes for next month and this time hope a few more pounds fall off. I'm not going to be staying off the scales for a month at a time. I'm going back to my regular routine of weighing daily. While I think it works well for others, I don't think it works well for me.

306 days or 10 months to go.

Day 56 Week 8

Wow week 8. Who knew?

Being sick this week and all meant I didn't get to the gym. So, no walking or swimming but I did some hard slave labor week that was pretty intense, at which point I ended up straight in bed for hours, aching and freezing. I spent a huge amount of time sleeping this last week. I'm feeling a little better energy-wise now.

This week I ate 21 bananas and 65 oranges. I had a few days where I ate very little. That's bad but I'm back now. To date I've walked 31.15 miles, swam 7.5 miles and have eaten 213 bananas and 262 oranges. I think Sunkist would be proud.

8 weeks down, 44 to go!

Day 49 Week 7

photo credit lusitania.etsy.com

For week 7 I walked 4 miles and 1.5 swam miles. Actually, that surprised me because I thought it was less. More would have been nice. The snow didn't help. I had other exercise in terms of physical work that is really taking a toll on my very stiff and sore arthritic spine. I actually burned more calories today (over 900) than I did even when I walked 2.5 miles and swam a mile all on the same day (600). If it didn't debilitate me so much I'd do more physical work but it really is hard on me. I crashed for 3 hours this evening. I couldn't help it - I was freezing and hurting and I just fell asleep where I was sitting.

This week I ate 27 bananas and 76 oranges. Wow. Just like trombones! To date I've walked 31.15 miles, swam 7.5 miles and have eaten 192 bananas and 197 oranges. Looks like the oranges are winning. I ♥ oranges.

I noticed in my weekly reports I have difficult weeks every week. I don't mean with food but with stress and things in my life. As I said, I'm working on it. Depression is starting to loom due to the longevity of it with not many rays of light ahead. I don't ♥ winter right now.

It doesn't feel I've made many body changes this week, or month for that matter. Not weighing leaves me feeling rather ungrounded. I'm not fond of it. Maybe it's part of my old anorexia days where it's one of the few stabilizing factors my little brain thinks I have. I think it's not a good idea for me and I probably won't do that next month.


7 weeks down, 45 to go!

Day 45 That Bright Shiny Object? Closer Than It Appears

photo credit ♥.·•Lovely Haru!•·.♥@flickr (seriously...)

You may not realize it, this just being Valentine's Day and all, but there are only 157 days left til the first day of summer. You've rolled your eyes at me, but I did detect your split second heart rate increase. Yes, I did.

If you do absolutely nothing different between now and then you'll spend another summer wishing you were fit and trim at the beach in your new orange bikini. Or whatever rings your bell. Speaking of which, I guess the only logical choice was to put the pink bikini on the doll with pink hair but I oh so wanted to see it the other way around *shrug*

Seriously, if you're one of the 17.2 billion of us who suddenly have that gigantic bright shiny object in the sky come out of no where, leaving a wake of frumpy sweat clad wearers behind, maybe now would be the time to make some inroads...

Today I ate 2,567 raw calories, banged out 2.5 miles at a 4.0 average pace and swam 1 mile - which was 60 straight minutes. I kinda love what's going on with this. I walk around in impossibly baggy sweats, sometimes two pair at a time because it's freakin' cold here. I wear plain, non-descript shirts and over-sized jackets. I toss my hair into a pony tail and forget the make up. I look 'like crap' most of the time. No one sees me. I'm completely invisible. I walk through the market and no one notices me. I go to the gym and though I have less clothes on, I don't have fancy work out stuff. My racing suits are ratty and I'm glad. I'm the invisible woman. I could have gone dancing on both Friday and Saturday nights - the two best days of the entire year thanks to Valentine's Day but I stayed home. On purpose. I washed oranges. I did laundry. I was happy.

Why? Because this is time for me. Just me. I don't care what anyone thinks. In an hour I could dress up and look 'hot' by some standards but that's not what this time is for. This is time for me to finally take care of me, work on my diet, my body and my life. I've never consciously devoted any amount of time, much less a year to the care and feeding of myself. Oh, yes to quite a few others - boyfriends, daughter, my elderly mother, former ungrateful spouse, squirrels, birds, dogs, cats, fish, hamsters, neighbor pets - but never myself.

When would be a good time to start taking care of you? What will you do with your next 157 days? What will you do for yourself over the next year?

Day 44 The Two Types of Raw Food People

photo credit Libraryman@flickr

There are basically two types of raw foodists:
Raw Gourmet and Raw Low Fat.

1. Raw Gourmet. Many people initially embarking on raw food start here. They recreate as many SAD (standard American) diet recipes with raw food as they can. There are websites and glossy magazines devoted to fancy, beautiful raw food. So you have people making fancy stuff as well as pizza and White Castle sliders and crackers, etc., from raw food and you end up with a diet that can be as high as 80% fat and with as many health problems as they had before. Salt also runs a bit rampant in this mix which holds its own health problems.

Besides this flying in the face of proper food combining (a whole 'nother topic) they don't eat a high ratio of fruit and this is the downfall of the gourmet raw foodist - you have to consume enough fruit everyday to make it work. You simply cannot get enough calories from greens, zucchini and tomatoes - you would eat endlessly all day and never make it up. Furthermore, you don't just need 'calories'. You need specific things from those calories. If that were not true, we could all just blissfully chow down on Ho Ho's for the rest of our days and be thin, beautiful and healthy. Right.

1 cup of spinach leaves is only 7 calories. I eat 6 cups a day, sometimes more, but 6 cups are just 42 calories. Wow. Why bother? Well because of the minerals - that's why you'd want to eat those lousy 42 calories. You need that, particularly if you're in your first year. Calorie-wise, you need much more than that, obviously. On good days I eat around 2500 calories so what else am I gonna eat to make that up?! You have to eat high calorie fruit. In fact, this has to be the mainstay of your diet so you replace your glycogen stores. This is why we crave sugar in the first place: To replenish our glycogen stores - the fuel we run on all day.

Granulated sugar will never serve your glycogen stores properly. You'll just need tons and tons of it over and over and it's not the right stuff, so you'll just feel and look like crap. No one ever got thin and healthy eating large amounts of refined sugar and that's a fact. Only whole food (fruit) will meet your bodies requirements - and probably for the first time in your entire life. Wow.

If you eat enough fruit you will never crave sugar again. I have cravings sometimes if I've not eaten enough calories in a day but to my surprise they are never for sugary things because my glycogen needs are finally being met. I admit it's a relief to no longer crave sweets. So what do I crave? Stupid crap like McDonalds cheeseburgers. When I crave that, I know I just need a couple hundred more calories for the day. I finally learned how many calories a day make me tick. It's around 2500.

It's different for everyone but everyone who is a low fat raw foodist or low fat raw vegan needs a lot more calories than you're probably eating now. I've never eaten that much a day on a regular basis in my life. I had to work up to it but it feels good now :)

Those who don't make their calories up in fruit make it up by default in FAT instead. Lots and lots of nuts, tahini, possibly oils and the sad thing is, nuts in America are DEAD. Unless you get them from small independent farms, thanks to the USDA, any nuts you buy in the stores have all been heated - cooked - no longer raw. If you claim to be a raw foodist and you are eating heat treated nuts - you're no longer a raw foodist. You can't even buy them at Whole Foods. An independent store might have them. The way you can tell they are dead is they will not sprout. You're basically eating fat gravel You'd be better off fat-wise on a SAD diet where the fat is around 35-45% than do that to yourself. If you buy nuts locally you need to ask if they've been heat treated. Ask if they're sprout-able. If the person doesn't answer you with conviction either way, yes they're certified raw, they will sprout or no, they've been heat treated and they will not sprout - don't buy them.

Besides the fact they're not raw, even if you buy raw nuts you need to understand that fat will never fill your glycogen stores and you'll be forever craving everything you were trying to get away from in the first place, including your health issues. You cannot make up your other 2458 calories of the day with nuts - aka FAT. You need fruit.

You also need to know that too many nuts will start to affect your teeth. People think it's the sugar in the fruit when they start to have dental problems from a raw food diet, but fruit is not the culprit. It's the nuts. They stick to the teeth and embed in between far more than the fruit ever does. You can rinse the fruit down with water but the nuts stay adhered. Trust me on this one - cut the fat - forget the nuts! I eat some pumpkin seeds once in a while but I'm pretty much even over that. Bottom line - you don't need nuts at all.

Which is not to say you don't need some fat. I track my food everyday and if I need fat, I eat a half an avocado last thing of the day, all by itself. That's it. My body has all night to process the fat, I get to 'sleep on it' and I have no active fruit in my system to get bogged down in the fat - causing blood sugar issues. AH! There is much to learn.

2. Raw Low Fat. Those who eat simply fruits (80%) and vegetables (10%) and fats (10%) and those really into it take the time to learn about food combining (which is not recipes...) and they are adamant about exercise daily. They never try to recreate any of the former SAD foods they ate.

I'm of the 2nd group if you couldn't tell by now, but I'm considered 'transitioning' since it can take a year to fully adopt a raw low fat diet. Wow - just my luck I've set aside a year to do just that. HA! Those who are 100% low fat raw vegan absolutely never, ever eat anything they're not supposed to - not ever. That's why they're considered 100%.

I'm doing better than most people I'm told with my transitioning - mostly because I'm doing it in the public eye so I don't want to cheat or fall back or transition slowly. It's a little tough but I get there nearly all the time. I'd say once every two weeks something stupid happens and we're talking one item - not a Thanksgiving dinner or binging for days on end. It's one item - like some popcorn or a few bites of my daughter's pasta. It's OK. I pay the price which is huge (very painful) and learn once again why I don't want to do that.

The great part is I always get back on the horse, unlike other 'diets', and that's because this isn't just a diet. It's a lifestyle and once you embark on it, it's pretty compelling. Just one example, often gourmet raw foodists are still over weight even a year down the line, they have bloating and digestion and other chronic health issues that they really should be able to get relief from. All dedicated low fat raw foodists are very trim and cut, their faces and bodies have redesigned themselves in the most fantastic ways and they've eliminated their bloating and digestion issues as well as a myriad of health issues. Cut the fat. Up your fruit. Change your life!

As far as all the raw food info out there, a good rule of thumb is if the person is selling you supplements and hawking 'super foods' you might want to take their raw food info with a grain of salt. If you're 100% low fat raw vegan - you won't even have any salt! If you're really doing raw food you wouldn't need processed 'super foods' or any other strange processed preparation. Just RAW FRUITS & VEGETABLES.

Low fat raw vegans/foodists take little if any supplements. I thought I needed calcium recently but upon tracking saw I was actually above the RDA. I supplement Vit D in the winter and I'll supplement B12 as this is a concern for ALL vegetarian type people, but let me tell you - I needed B12 even when I ate meat and many other meat eaters do as well. So there will be no more blaming the veggies ;)

Day 43 Pilates Free - For ME!

When I lived in L.A. I used to attend Pilates classes. Let me tell you, it's a LOT harder than it looks. Sleek little machines with shiny cords and hand holdy things - what could be easier? Well after they scraped me off of it the first time, I had respect.

I moved shortly there after to somewhere the word Pilates didn't even exist. That is until QVC. My friend, a quirky 6'2" guy, saw it on TV and thought that was just what he needed to tone up his already rock hard body.

I remember him telling me about it on the phone. It sounded like a Pilates reformer. But surely he did not just buy a reformer, did he? His description left me confused. He couldn't really read the writing on the side so I was clueless. He's a true country boy who has somehow managed to unwittingly slather metro all over himself.

When I saw it I said, "OMG you have a PILATES REFORMER!" He gave me a bewildered look. Even HE didn't know he was doing Pilates - despite the fact it says right on it: Pilates Power Gym. My friend isn't the most literate or worldly guy, but he's genuine. It cracked me up.

Well, I was secretly jealous of the sleek little steel machine with all the bells and whistles. He was doing the coolest work out around and didn't even know it. At about $300 there was no way I could ever get one. Anytime I'd visit I'd look at it with envy.

The good thing about QVC, however, is they always have something new. Couple that with the fact my friend is a QVC addict and you have a marketers dream. When he gets home from late shift he's always seeing what the latest greatest thing is on TV. I can't even begin to name the various interesting gadgets he has in his house now.

Last night at 3 am he calls me.

He said, "I have a gift for you. Would you like my machine thing that you love?"
"Umm - your Pilates thing?! OMG, what? Really? YES!", I said emphatically.
He said, "I saw a new one on QVC and I just ordered it. I'll bring this one over tomorrow afternoon all oiled and cleaned up for you. Happy Valentines' Day!"

Wow! So right on time my cool new gleaming Pilates reformer shows up, complete with the DVDs it came with.

Now I just need to find the time and motivation to use it.

Day 42 Week 6

photo credit Jennifer Chait

For week 6 I walked 1 mile, did not get any swim time in, which is not to say I had no exercise at all. I did. It just involved the clean up of an enormous mess which pretty much ate up 16 hours of my life in the last week rather than the preferred walking and swimming I usually do.

This week I ate 23 bananas and 54 oranges. To date I've walked 27.15 miles, swam 6 miles and have eaten 165 bananas and 121 oranges. Since my orange consumption is so high I thought it'd be fun to track it. Thank heavens no one is asking me to track baby spinach leaves! In other news, yes, Lori's bananas did come from the same farm as mine. I bought both batches but on different days. Hey, it was fun for me!

Well another difficult beyond belief week. Not having food on Monday just kicked my butt and I continued to live the after effects the rest of the week. I'm trying to get a grip on my food and exercise and sanity. I'm determined to win despite most days being pretty tired and needing a nap. My sleep is really messed up at night. I'll sleep 3-4 hours and BING! I'm done - up all night! Then I crash at 5pm for 2 hours. Yes, it's perpetuating it but honestly, that 5pm sleep is like the BEST sleep ever. I am so warm and happy and I sleep SO well. I decided to go with it today and hopefully things will sort themselves out over time. Maybe I just need to start counting sheep.

My goal is to start to get to the gym first thing in the morning, after my daughter gets on the bus. I'm usually so messed up from not sleeping all night that I just come home and go back to bed, then the day gets away from me and my daughter gets home and that's all she wrote. I'm told I 'have' chronic fatigue syndrome but I don't really like that label. I'd like to think I can FIX it, despite the medical profession being useless other than to assign labels to people. I am not doing that great with it right now but I've not lost hope. I have to wonder if a better label would be 'chronic bullshit' instead of chronic fatigue. Yes, I think that's a better title. The crap that goes on in my life wears me out. Like I said last week, I need some changes. I'm working on them. Maybe God will smile upon me soon.

6 weeks down, 46 to go!

Day 41 Making Up For Lost Time?

photo credit Rocketeer@flickr

Imagine my surprise when I realized I'd logged over 2700 calories for today - and I'm still hungry! What's up with that? I made sure I drank enough water (sometimes we confused hunger with thirst...) and I took a nap and took it easy today. Am I making up for Monday, still? I dunno but that's a new record for me. I'm not worried about it. I don't expect to 'gain weight' at all. Isn't that wild? In the past that'd be considered a banana split day for sure and I'd be beating myself up.

I'm getting a lot more used to eating what I want and not worrying about it. I don't feel like I've lost anymore weight this month but I did a quick waist measurement and lost another inch off my waist. That was pretty exciting. My hair seems to be oddly a lot longer all of a sudden, too. I won't measure til the end of the month but it's very noticeable. Ah - the power of oranges!

I've not been at the pool due to the weather and icy roads. Which is not to say I couldn't hop on my treadmill but I just haven't. Monday killed me, burning something like 3300 calories for the day on no food. I just want to get over this week and get on with it. It's the best I can do.

Day 40 Frozen Orange Juices Futures

photo credit artsydots@flickr

If you've ever seen Trading Places you'll laugh at that title and the pic! I'll bet you a dollar that orange can be reformed! Truth of the matter is it's FREEZING out and last night I bought a fabulous *new* orange squeesher thing (juicer...) and I was excited to be snowed in today to use it. We open it up and it seems someone else already had the same idea. I cannot believe that Bed, Bath and Beyond sold me a USED squeesher. GMAFB!

So this afternoon I head out against my better judgment into the great white-out. They took it back, gave me a *new* squeesher and off I went. Had trouble getting home but finally made it. Let's not do that again.

I hand juiced my oranges this morning but I'm not feeling too well 'cause I did way too much yesterday, didn't eat and made myself really sick. 12 hours of sleep later and some OJ I'm doing a little better but my energy is still lagging behind. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day with plenty of fresh orange juice.

Day 39 Some Days Chicken. Next Day Feathers.

This photo sums up my day exactly

I had a very long and tedious day today cleaning up a total mess. There was no time for myself and no food. I packed food for my day but left it on the counter :( It's freezing beyond belief here and after a 12 hour day with no food I'm just beat. Some days chicken. Next day feathers. It just happens. I grabbed something later but it wasn't the best thing and now I'm sick. Tomorrow will be a better day.

In other news I bought a new orange squeeger thing. You know, a thing that juices oranges :) I'm pretty excited about it. At least I think I will be once this awful bone piercing exhaustion wears off sometime tomorrow.

Day 38 YES They Had NO Bananas Today!

OMG I absolutely could not believe my eyes when I finally got through the crowds at Whole Foods to discover that YES they had NO bananas today! I just stood there in astonishment, blinking away, while the sign that loomed over the deserted lot came into focus and said something about their inability to get fresh produce due to the weather conditions at their warehouse in Washington, D.C.

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

My daughter reminded me we needed to get water, too, so it wasn't a total loss but it certainly felt like a total loss. I can live without water. I can't live without bananas!!!

So, off to Paul's Fruit Stand I went. The locked gates reminded me they're closed on Sunday. What are they some puritanical fruit eaters - they don't eat fruit on Sunday? Holy freaking cow.

I begrudgingly drove to Kroger where they had plenty of bananas. Sadly they were mostly green and pathetic looking. I grabbed 3 big bunches since another storm is due. I then stopped at Costco and stocked up on oranges. Truth of the matter is I can just eat more oranges. I actually like them better, they're just not as user-friendly and I'm staring down the day from hell tomorrow and I need user-friendly food. Such is life.

I texted Lori (BFF) to casually inquire about her banana stock...and she said she had 3 left. Well, that's not going to do anyone any good at all! LOL - thank you Lori for sensing the panic in my text and offering me your last 3 bananas. It might have been the all caps that gave me away.

I'll be okay. I just want to carry on about it :D

Day 37 Pantry Progress!

Well, it didn't happen in January but now in February I finally got my pantry and fridge cleaned out of literally tons of stuff that is NOT needed. Many things were just old (graham cracker crumbs, anyone?!) that had to go but there was some 'useful' food for others that I will give away.

My daughter (12) is not fully low fat raw vegan and so there are still things around for her. It's not really good for me but you can only do so much. I have been slowly phasing her into healthier eating, though prying the macaroni and cheese out of her little fingers may prove difficult. She also sits in a classroom all day and can't just go eat a banana or orange if she's hungry, so it's a challenge. Then there is the almighty peer pressure for a kid just launching into the teen scene *HELP*

My plan is to get me there and get her eating better overall. In time we'll find new ways for her to have healthier choices at all times.

I wish I would have had these things introduced to me as a kid. I struggled so watching my mother fail on diet after diet, not to mention my early Milk Bone dog biscuit diet from age 4-8 when not enough other food was available to me since she felt withholding food would prevent me from getting fat like my older sisters were. Turns out my sisters were just growing and it all evened out once they got past puberty. Ugh. The dog and I were great friends. It really sucked when she bought the liversnap flavor. I kept telling her the dog hated those but he didn't help the situation by gulping them down. Damn dog.

I still remember her 'scrambled egg and celery diet' that went on forever and who can forget the, "Peel a Pound Soup" that so many people ate. Ew. I remember feeling hopeless that everything I ate 'made me fat' and either binged or did not eat. At least my daughter has had better info and better nutrition and better examples for all of her life, even if she was on a SAD diet. At least it wasn't a junk food SAD diet.

So, one step at a time. Can't wait to clean out my closet. Tons of clothes that are so old, don't fit one way or another and just must go!

Day 36 Week 5

YES I'm a day late and a banana short on this one. I don't know what I was thinking last night but I'd had the longest day that never ended and to add insult to injury, I was up all night. Which then made me sleep half the damn day today. I hate that.

For week 5 I walked 9.25 miles, swam 1.5 miles and ate 37 bananas. To date I've walked 26.15 miles, swam 6 miles and have eaten 142 bananas. Is that a bushel? Who knows. But while you're here, go visit the farm that my bananas came from today. Pretty wild! This farm has really big bananas compared to some other farms I've gotten bananas from. I'm wondering if Lori's bananas came from farm 633 as well. Though she did report that the bananas I gave her were definitely better than other bananas she's had. Can't wait to find out which farm she had. Keep those stickers woman!

Again I've had a stressful week and I'm pretty unhappy with parts of my life and I don't mean my diet. Things need to change. I can't keep doing things like this to myself, I'm destroying my body. I also need support from other people who eat like I do and I think I'm going to get that now, which will help.

If you're following this and serious, it will help you to connect with others on the same path. I did discover there is ONE other person in my city (that we know of...) who ascribes to 80/10/10, also called LFRV - Low Fat Raw Vegan. Maybe I can meet him. There is a girl another city away and I hope to get together with her as well.

5 weeks down, 47 to go!

Day 35 Swim More. Quack Less.

Back in the pool this week I finally hit the mile mark. Of course, I pick the worst possible night to do it. I'm late getting to the swim center. I have to run first to get warmed up and that takes time and I have to allow time afterward to shower. Plus I need a big chunk of time to swim. Ugh.

I head upstairs and bang out a mile and a quarter on the treadmill and then head down to the pool. I always dress the same way everyday to save time. I put my racing suit on first, then my running shorts and a t-shirt on over that and then my street clothes and running shoes atop that. When I get to the gym I take off my street clothes and I'm ready to run. When I get done running I take off my shorts and t-shirt and I'm ready to swim. I've done it this way for my whole life. Works great.

A quick hop in the shower to lather up, rinse off and I'm ready. NO ONE should enter a pool without fully showering and that includes your hair because if you think about it, it's like getting in a bathtub with a bunch of strangers. Ew. Shower. Please shower. This is everyone's responsibility as it keeps the pool clean but it actually does something for you as well. If you let your skin, and more importantly your hair, absorb clean water first and then put a cap on, it won't readily absorb the pool water. Betcha didn't know that :) No green icky hair here. Of course I swim in a salt water pool which I'm so lucky to get to do but there is still some chlorine and chemicals. You don't want that attaching to your hair. I also put a silicon coating on the drier parts of my face and where my goggles will sit to reduce irritation and abrasion. Works great.

I hit the pool and it's nirvana: I have the entire pool to myself. Ahhhh! It's 8:35 pm and the pool will close at 9:45 pm, and the showers will be open til 10 pm. It takes me a half hour to swim a half mile and I want to swim a mile and still have time to ease the arthritis in my low back/tail bone in the jacuzzi before I hit the showers. Sounds like enough time but the 2nd half of the mile might take me longer due to fatigue.

So I feel pretty pressed the first half mile. I really want to get the first 33 lengths under my belt so I can work on the second 33. I use a special finger swim counter that you wear on your forefinger and click with your thumb after each lap. I would never be able to keep count without this. People are always asking what it is but it's a pretty common swim device. It looks like a little watch for your finger :)

My laps are slowed down as I cannot do the flip turn because for some reason since I had brain surgery it causes a massive equilibrium disturbance. I can't fix that, I just have to live with it but I'm out of breath at the end of each lap because I'm pushing it so much. I finally get through the first 33 laps which seems like an eternity and then I'm onto the second set.

It's a little after 9 pm when I start those but oddly they seemed to go by a lot faster than the first 33. I end at 9:30 - finally my first full mile in a very long time.

Swimming is amazing for trimming your waist, sides and hips. I make it a point to make each stroke count. I really reach for it, stretching out each side fully with each stroke and adding a little twist to work my sides a bit more. It's paying off. It's also tremendous for my arms and shoulders. Though I'm a bit sore today, it still feels good.

I am having a hard time imagining getting back up to 2 miles at a time. I used to swim 2 miles a day, almost daily. Energy levels aside, as a single mom I'd need to really carve that time out. We'll see. A mile right now is a lot for me.

Here's a pic of a guy with a swim lap counter thing for your finger. That's exactly what I have. They work great. You can use them for other sports, too. Hmmm I'd like to lap swim with this guy now that I think about it...:D

Day 34 Orange Secrets

About a billion years ago when I was a teen I somehow ended up with a copy of Jethro Kloss's book, "Back to Eden". In it was a small section on the 'orange cleansing diet'. I remember I followed it and one of the benefits was my hair grew ridiculously fast. It always did grow fast but this was like over 2 inches a month and the effects seemed to last well past the month I followed the cleanse. I never did the orange cleansing diet for a whole month or months on end. I didn't have free access to fruit as a teen (which is sad...) but when I was able to get 3 days worth of oranges in, I went for it.

I LOVE ORANGES. I admit I like them much more than bananas, but they're not as user friendly. I hate peeling them and getting it all into my finger nails and so I'm forever slicing them. Not something you can readily do while driving down the highway. Anyway periodically I'll remember the orange cleansing diet and follow it for 5 or more days. My skin will glow like never before and my hair will grow like a weed. In my mind it consisted of eating nothing but oranges for the duration of several days to a week.

Upon a closer look at Jethro's book, I see that's not exactly what it says. Hmmm. It says something about the juice and then doing other things that possibly should not be done and well - let's just leave it at that. Then there is another section that talks about just eating oranges. Hmmm.

Anyway, what I'm here to tell you is that if you eat an abundance of fresh oranges, either on their own as a 'mono meal' (or meals...) or with other fruit you might just be surprised at the bonus results you get from them. Longer hair, clearer skin, etc. If you haven't noticed from my stats my hair grew two inches in the last month. So, even at this age and all I've endured it's still effective.

I eat 2-4 large oranges a day and have been for the last month. Of course I ate a lot of other fruit, too, but I know that oranges seem to have some special powers when it comes to my hair. Whatever it is, I highly recommend it.

Orange you glad you read this? :D