Day 80-96 I Never Really Went Away

photo credit xdianicx@flickr

I'm still here but I guess you could say I'm back!

I've not made any further diet progress because my hormones flatlined and pretty much took me out. I was so exhausted that my one and only goal every single day was to get back into bed, even if it were only for 15 minutes. I was setting alarms all day long to get up and take care of things. Insane. I also started a new project that's been cantankerous and I'm rebuilding BreastHealthOnline.org. I mostly ate well, but due to the aforementioned situations it's been challenging. There is no new timeline addition to kick this month off because it's basically the same as last month. Nothing lost, nothing really gained. It's OK because I made progress in other areas.

My hormone situation is slowly coming around, though, and thanks to the special Melatonin recommended in Mary Shomon's book, "The Menopause Thyroid Solution", I've slept better and am actually dreaming! Never mind I dreamed my 12 year old daughter (aka Paris Hilton) not only lives with me but had a dorm of her own AND her own posh apartment - complete with guinea pigs that I never knew she owned. Shut up. Oh and let me just add - her apartment was spotlessly clean, unlike real life. Craziness.

But unruly children, dreams and diets aside, I have made HUGE progress on my house! This was also one of my New Years Resolutions. I've made fabulous progress in this department despite the exhaustion. Every single room is clean, except my office is a bit messy again. Nonetheless, my house is CLEAN! My closet and all my clothes are clean! My sheets are clean! My daughters room and bathroom really are clean now - miracle! My stove and microwave are clean! My fridge is clean! 1600 sq feet of hardwood is CLEAN CLEAN CLEAN! I cleaned up part of the garage and I've kept it all clean (cleaned it repeatedly...) for weeks and weeks now with the exception of my office. This is a first in 10 years. I've never had the energy to clean it in its entirety, and I've certainly not had the energy to keep it up after that. Where I found this energy I have no idea but it came in spurts and then I'd crash a few days. Wash, rinse, repeat! Ugh!

And so on Saturday I found myself standing in a totally clean house and realized that I could actually host Easter dinner here without too much trouble. Another first in I don't know how many years - like at least 7 years.

So, I planned a simple menu and invited my mom because honestly she may not have many Easter's left. I had ordered some See's candy a week ago so that was already in place and I happened to have had a few dozen eggs on hand to color - don't ask!

I made:
Red Potato Salad
Waldorf salad with Poppyseed dressing
Creamed spinach with sliced egg
Deviled eggs
Banana walnut carrot cake with cream cheese frosting (my own crazy recipe that's in my head...)

Then I made boiled ham for my mom. Sounds awful but she always did it this way and it's very good, well if you eat this sort of thing. I was sad to buy a ham but I did it. It was an extremely small ham. I have feelings about the little piggy that went to market. Don't get me started. I can't tell you last time I bought anything like this and it's really for my mom. Which doesn't justify it. I know. I'll shut up now.

Despite the PETA repercussions, we had a lovely afternoon. I ate some things I don't usually/shouldn't have but I'm back now. Last night I ran, swam and did yoga and of course, got back on my diet program. Oh yes - I started yoga in the middle of all this. YAY! The things that Mary Shomon's book recommended are really helping - Royal Maca, sub-lingual progesterone and IODINE. More on this in the future - it's worth its own blog post.

So things are getting better and hopefully this hormone transition won't be too hard and things will become more stable for me.

It's a process! I've got the rest of the year ahead of me to work on everything but for now I'm loving my clean house. I feel all grown up!

Day 63 Week 9

photo credit ratterrell@flickr

I'm just gonna run on by and update 'cause I'm working on something else and gotta get back to it.

This week I ate 20 bananas and 60 oranges. I did not get any treadmill or swimming in. Today I have a terrible headache. I'm not eating quite enough and I'm a little dehydrated. My weight is the same though I am feeling a bit thinner in the hips and bum area!

To date I've walked 31.15 miles, swam 7.5 miles and have eaten 233 bananas and 322 oranges. The banana and orange count amazes me!

9 weeks down, 43 to go!

Day 62 Sanity Preservation

photo credit Silly lil' Doe!@flickr

Today I just took it easy. I had the luxury of being home all day and my daughter had late band practice. I didn't have to face the world til 4:30 p.m. I felt like I'd won the lottery. I was so happy to be home. I did whatever I wanted, which actually ended up being cleaning my bird aviary and then I had a short nap with the cats and dog. I also ate whatever I wanted and left the world behind for the day.

Tomorrow is another day and everything will be back on track. I have to say I love this lifestyle because returning to it is very compelling. Again, I think via this blog and the support of my friends that by planning to care for myself over the course of the year can only bring positive and lasting results. The effects one one day of down time can't negate the other 364.

Below I'm including a link to an article on two simple ways to be a happier parent. Now, it could just be my mood today but I really expected this article to mention duct tape and cyanide. Surprisingly, no. Well, maybe it will help someone else :D

Two Simple Ways to Be a Happier Parent

Day 60 New Month!

photo credit iheartlinen@flickr

Once again a new month before me. I'm hoping I'll lose some weight this month. The inches are great but I'm not interested in being the only 170 lb size 2 person on the planet! I know I build muscle with exercise. That's great but lets get the weight off please.

Last month was hard, lots of stress and then I was sick. I am fortunate to have lost the 13.5 inches. Eating more simply works a lot better. I feel I have my food routine down well. It's interesting to see what a habit this has become and how there's really no turning back. Besides fruit and vegetables being such a huge part of my life, I never used to eat breakfast. I eat breakfast everyday now. I eat much more and more regularly than I have my whole life. I really look forward to fruit for breakfast and big salads later in the day. While I might not be following a perfect continuum, I think the progress over this year will be interesting and gratifying. I'm also curious how many other people are still working on their New Year's resolutions. I am!

With winter being so long it seems this year and having to care for my mom and try to keep my head above water, it's been hard to get to the gym. My sleep remains a disaster. I hope to still get more exercise in, miraculously fix my sleep and get to the gym more this month. HA!

I turn 47 on the 20th of this month - the first day of Spring. Please send some happy headway thoughts my way :)

Day 59 Weights, Measures and Pictures!

2 months down.

Even more so than last month when I was thinking there wouldn't be much discernible change, I was thinking there would be no change at all this month. I figured a new photo would be a waste of time as it wouldn't show any changes whatsoever. I took a pic anyway just to prove to myself there were no changes.

But while the scales registered virtually no loss, happily the measurements and pics told another story. I strongly recommend people use measurements and photos and not just rely on the scale to track their progress.

Below are all the stats and time line pics. Again, the surgery noted on the pics was a hysterectomy where they found a severe case of endometriosis. I did not have a tummy tuck or gastric surgery or anything like that. I am now 3 months post op from all of that.

Starting weight: 192 (Nov)
Current weight: 170

Total weight lost:
22 lbs since November.
10 lbs lost in January.
No weight lost in February.

Total inches lost:
32 inches lost in January.
13.5 inches lost in February - this really took me by surprise.
45.5 inches lost to date - YAY!

12/31
Weight 180
Neck 15
Chest 41
Bust 45
Midriff 38
waist 40 (on Nov 16th, 2 weeks before my surgery, this measurement was 48". The additional 8 inches is not factored into my inch loss.)
Belly 45
Hips 45
Thigh 26
Knee 20
Calf 15.5
Ankle 8.5
Bicep 16
Forearm 9.5
Wrist 6.25
Hair 16

1/31
Weight 170
Neck 14.5
Chest 37
Bust 42
Midriff 35
Waist 35 (I've lost 13 inches since Nov here!)
Belly 43
Hips 42
Thigh 24.5
Knee 16
Calf 14.75
Ankle 8
Bicep 12.5
Forearm 8.75
Wrist 5.75
Hair 18 (I'm growing my hair...)

2/28
Weight 170
Neck 13.5
Chest 35
Bust 40
Midriff 33.5
Waist 33 (I've lost 15 inches since Nov here!)
Belly 42
Hips 40
Thigh 23.5
Knee 15.5
Calf 14.5
Ankle 8
Bicep 12.5
Forearm 8.5
Wrist 5.75
Hair 18.5 (I'm growing my hair...)




Wow. I was totally wrong about the changes. I'm excited. My daughter asked me if the new picture was one of the ones she was playing around with in photoshop in January. NO IT IS NOT! There is absolutely no photo shopping done here at all.

She was amazed.

I'm amazed she's still living. LOL.

Again, can't wait to see the changes for next month and this time hope a few more pounds fall off. I'm not going to be staying off the scales for a month at a time. I'm going back to my regular routine of weighing daily. While I think it works well for others, I don't think it works well for me.

306 days or 10 months to go.

Day 57 The Secret End of Hot Flashes

photo credit myori@flickr

Can raw fruits and vegetables end your hot flashes? I don't have a scientific study for you but can tell you something really odd I've noticed about myself.

I had a hysterectomy this past December. I am not on hormones as per my doctor (and my own preferences). I was told I'd have hot flashes for many months while the endometriosis died off. I started to get them in December. In January when I went 100% raw, they stopped. I have no hot flashes while eating raw. But, if I stray I have them in increasing severity and intensity. Without a doubt the occurrences are food related.

Another benefit: If I stay 100% raw I have no urgent little girl's room issues and no incontinence or anything like that. Everything is perfectly normal. But, if I stray off my diet these things come flooding back. Pun intended :)

Just some food for thought.

Day 56 Week 8

Wow week 8. Who knew?

Being sick this week and all meant I didn't get to the gym. So, no walking or swimming but I did some hard slave labor week that was pretty intense, at which point I ended up straight in bed for hours, aching and freezing. I spent a huge amount of time sleeping this last week. I'm feeling a little better energy-wise now.

This week I ate 21 bananas and 65 oranges. I had a few days where I ate very little. That's bad but I'm back now. To date I've walked 31.15 miles, swam 7.5 miles and have eaten 213 bananas and 262 oranges. I think Sunkist would be proud.

8 weeks down, 44 to go!

Day 51 Caution: Life Ahead

photo credit Gwen@Flickr

My life: World record for most speed bumps per square inch.

On Thursday I had some persistent itching on my side from my back and across my ribs. Hmmm. In the back of my mind I knew better, but decided to chalk it up to the possibility of some soap residue on my skin.

It returned again Thursday evening around bedtime.

On Friday morning I went back to bed forever after taking my daughter to the bus stop. Laying on my right side seemed painful as well as itchy. I've been impossibly tired lately. Nothing seems to help. It's so easy to blame 'the diet', but I can't ignore the fact that I'm depressed and run down from too much stress lately. 'Luckily', stress ramped itself up 100 more notches Thursday night thanks to my darling pre-teen daughter.

Friday night I knew I was doomed and needed to see the doctor first thing Saturday morning. "I went to the doctor with mom today and she has Sherpels disease", I hear my daughter tell my ex on the phone tonight.

By the time he called back to say WTF... my Sherpels had been downgraded to Shingles. Ah, yes, now it makes sense, as if any of my life ever really does. Everyone knows that only characters in Dr. Seuss stories ever get Sherpels.

For the record, I did not see the doctor. I saw the nurse practitioner. I never get to see the doctor except for the one 'fortuitous' encounter when the blithering (female) troll told me I should have both my ovaries removed so I could do away with, you know, that pesky sex drive. My male GYN was appalled. I wasn't reporting any sex drive issues, nor was I interested, Dr. Weinstock, in your slight of 'hand' that revealed yours. I was asking about the wisdom of keeping one ovary vs removing both. Oy.

Anyway, this nurse practitioner has never ceased to be a complete moron and complete morons are rare. I hesitate to even give him credit as a nurse much less a nurse practitioner. I know so many more highly intelligent people in the nursing field.

The first time I met him he 'diagnosed' me with 'bipolar disorder'. I was very sick that day and was suffering some anxiety over what was going on with me. Truth is you can't diagnose someone with bipolar disorder the first time you meet them, and certainly not in a 5 minute evaluation, I don't care who you are.

Furthermore, having been through 14 continuous years (my entire marriage...) of therapy, complete with visits to a psychiatrist to treat major depression as well as having been administered all the regular psychiatric tests, not once was I ever diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Just major depression attributable to living with an alcoholic. I think they would have clearly established if I was bipolar at some point over 14 years of care. Right.

Oh but he didn't stop there. He also 'diagnosed' my Vit D deficiency as IBS or Crohns or possibly colon cancer without any formal tests. This guy has the psychic powers of a medically sterilized turd. Ahem, I had Vit D deficiency. Let's not make it out to be anymore than that.

Since I despise this person, naturally that's who I get today. I tell him I've had this before. I'm having relentless itching again with pain in a band around my right side, across my ribs.

He informs me itching is not associated with Shingles.

Quoting from WebMD regarding Shingles:

* Pain or a bruised feeling -- usually on one side of your face or body -- often along with a fever, chills, headache, or upset stomach.
* Tingling, itching, or prickling skin and an inflamed, red skin rash several days later.
* A group or long strip of small, fluid-filled blisters.
* Deep burning, searing, aching, or stabbing pain, which may occur once in a while or last a long time.

I said, "Are you f*cking kidding me? I think you need to update your education." He retreated immediately.

I trounced him previously on the bipolar disorder and the Vit D. oversight. Drama Queen, much? He should know better than to mess with me by now. He's easy game but it's a shallow victory to have to put the hammer down on the guy every time I go in there. It's not satisfying in any way that my 'health care provider' is a massive idiot.

He determines my right eye is also affected, though says it's rare to see it in two places, so it may not be unless my immune system is compromised or I have HIV.

HELLO! Shingles IS an outcropping of an immune system crash. God this man is dumber than a box of hair and for the record, last time I had it I had it on BOTH sides of my back. 'Fortunately', I had meningitis at the same time ( I'm a multi-tasker) so the 10 day coma and round the clock nursing care in an isolation facility really came in handy to avoid the unpleasantness of Shingles. I recommend it to everyone *rolls eyes*

He tells me if my eye gets worse to see an ophthalmologist as I could lose my vision. Yeah, I'll do that and avoid coming back in here, trust me. Though going blind and never laying eyes on you again is looking like the better option all around.

He writes a script for Valtrex and I ask for Motrin for pain. He says, "What pain? Are you having back pain or something?"

I said, "THE PAIN OF SHINGLES. IT'S A VERY PAINFUL CONDITION. I'M NOT ASKING FOR NARCOTICS. I'M ASKING FOR RX MOTRIN. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?"

"OH", he says. "The pain. I see. Okay."

GOD HELP ME.

Day 50 Orange Heaven

photo credit Creativity+@flickr

Today I went to Costco armed with a few returns as well as a bonus card they gave me for some poor treatment at the cash register a few months ago. I forgot I had the card - total spiff for me! Sorry about the dude who was out of control at the cash register, but I didn't make the news. I just reported it. $25 for my endurance? Hmm okay. I didn't ask for it but it was a nice gesture and perfect timing to support my new orange habit.

I must say employee problems at Costco are a very rare event, which is probably why I was in such shock when this guy, who seemed very hopped up on at the very least 126 cups of coffee, decided to flip out because I didn't hand him my card quick enough. There was no one in line behind me. It wasn't even a busy day. Memorable, but even more memorable is one of my favorite movies which showcases employee life inside a warehouse, "Employee of the Month". Though it's plain wrap, it's done in a Costco. I ♥ this movie! I ♥ Costco! Rent it. You'll never be able to look at the towering shelves that hold all the goods the same way again. ROFL at the car sale...LOL!!!

So after grabbing 6 new shiny boxes of oranges I head up to the cash registers. After applying my store credit and employee freak out compensation, I check out for a total of 10¢. Orange Heaven. It just doesn't get any better than that.

Which is not to say I got away entirely unscathed. Apparently I'm the only person in history to buy 120 oranges at once. At least you'd think by the comments I got, which really perplexed me. 6 boxes of oranges fit neatly into the cart. Stacked three deep and two high, they did not even breach the top of the cart. It's not like I had a Beverly Hillbilly's thing going on with orange boxes strapped to the front and sides and in 2 tow. I mean, seriously.

But the comments didn't stop til they were resting peacefully in my little car. "No scurvy at your house, eh?!" one guy shouted. Umm no, matey, no scurvy here. "Wow! She's gonna be really healthy!" one lady proclaimed to the door check girl while I waited for my receipt to be gone over twice and marked. Look, it's six boxes of oranges. Nothing else to see here, let's move along.

Another person asked me if I was expecting company. WTH? As hospitable as I can be, I've never bought 120 oranges for guests. Have you? As I pulled away I thought my troubles were over. Once home and neatly stacked in my uber-freezing garage my daughter looked at them and then up at me and rolled her eyes.

It's FRUIT people. Not a threat to national security. Get over it.

Day 49 Week 7

photo credit lusitania.etsy.com

For week 7 I walked 4 miles and 1.5 swam miles. Actually, that surprised me because I thought it was less. More would have been nice. The snow didn't help. I had other exercise in terms of physical work that is really taking a toll on my very stiff and sore arthritic spine. I actually burned more calories today (over 900) than I did even when I walked 2.5 miles and swam a mile all on the same day (600). If it didn't debilitate me so much I'd do more physical work but it really is hard on me. I crashed for 3 hours this evening. I couldn't help it - I was freezing and hurting and I just fell asleep where I was sitting.

This week I ate 27 bananas and 76 oranges. Wow. Just like trombones! To date I've walked 31.15 miles, swam 7.5 miles and have eaten 192 bananas and 197 oranges. Looks like the oranges are winning. I ♥ oranges.

I noticed in my weekly reports I have difficult weeks every week. I don't mean with food but with stress and things in my life. As I said, I'm working on it. Depression is starting to loom due to the longevity of it with not many rays of light ahead. I don't ♥ winter right now.

It doesn't feel I've made many body changes this week, or month for that matter. Not weighing leaves me feeling rather ungrounded. I'm not fond of it. Maybe it's part of my old anorexia days where it's one of the few stabilizing factors my little brain thinks I have. I think it's not a good idea for me and I probably won't do that next month.


7 weeks down, 45 to go!

Day 48 Toxic Stress

Despite normally being able to just carry on everyday and brush off 'life's little annoyances', there are times when elderly parents, teenage children and unreasonable other people just converge to take you out.

I tend to carry a pretty high level of toxic stress around with me. It's not my choice, I scrape off as much stress as I can, but there are things in life we have handed to us that we can't just scrape off. There are things we can control and so out of some self preservation, I gave away my littlest poodle. Yes, it was to relieve stress but it brought me a lot more stress in the process, and no, not like, "Do I now change my blog to Screaming Poodle?" I don't want to talk about it.

Like I said, I normally handle life with aplomb despite the static but today it took me out. I felt bad, I was shaking and forgetful, stupid even, and just the most mundane tasks were hard. I endeavored to eat right but I'm wondering really if I can even do that right. Anytime I work out really hard I crave salt like crazy and there doesn't seem to be a cure for that. If I were to crave sweets (and I don't) it just means I need to eat more sweet fruit but the same isn't true for salt. I don't eat salt so eating more of it doesn't work. I've occasionally had popcorn and hated myself and it hated me and it didn't fix the problem. I'm really not sure what to do during those times. The only advice I get is to eat more.

I seem to have gotten a grip or groove that 2500 calories is good for me, sometimes more but now I see I'm supposed to exercise 40% of those off everyday if I don't want to fail at this. I looked at my last work out which involved 2.5 miles on the treadmill and a mile in the pool - no small time commitment there and realized even at that I'd only shaved off 25% of my intake that day by burning 625 calories, according to Fitday. I needed to burn closer to 1000.

WTF? I mean seriously - I'm a single mom. I have a teenage girl. I take care of my elderly dementia ridden mother. I deal with lots of other barking and quacking in my life from other sources to boot on top of all of that. To say it's stressful would be to say the ocean contains water. I'm recovering from years of being sick with a brain tumor and recently a very involved hysterectomy. I don't sleep at night. I sleep now an hour or two, occasionally more but then I'm often up for hours. I'm not feeling too well. The thought of having to fit in 15% more exercise is overwhelming and I'm not making it to the gym everyday as it is.

Last but not least I'm reading that according to 80/10/10 I need to be 'emotionally poised'. As in, without stress. I'd laugh at that if it weren't so tragic. So what do I do? Is there anyone in the U.S. who is 'emotionally poised'? Are YOU? If so, I want to meet you and let you spend the afternoon with my mother and then the evening with my daughter. What am I supposed to do? Is my only solution really to send my 82 year old mother off to another state so I don't have to deal with her anymore, and thus never see her again (which is what would happen because I don't have the means to visit my niece) and my daughter back to my ex? And get rid of all the other stressful people in my life including the people at Medicare who make no sense to me in terms of my mother's benefits and then I can become a raw vegan?

I dunno. Any of my friends over in Banana Land care to help?

Day 47 CABIN FEVER

photo credit Tgrab.@flickr

I don't know how many days I've been snowed in - what 39 now? Okay, so it's just been two days with freedom tomorrow, but I can tell you I'm really sick of it despite growing up in a ski village. Maybe it's the 12 year old who is making it such a remarkable experience or perhaps the screaming poodle who cannot even begin to fathom why his grassy knoll has vanished. Even the hamster seems crabby.

I've taken this opportunity to clean out my pantry and fridge even further. Unlike every other year that I've been snowed in, I'm not craving chocolate. That's pretty much a mandatory staple in snow conditions. Unfortunately, my daughter announced on an hourly basis that we had nothing to eat all day despite the fact we have plenty of food. Thanks to the lack of junk food she was reduced to eating a banana and several oranges and proclaimed them yummy. Well imagine that.

I should have put some time in on the treadmill today but I didn't feel like it. I didn't really feel like doing much of anything. I didn't eat enough calories today and I didn't get my exercise, but it's a process. I did review my nutrition and made some corrections, which is really important on any diet. We all need to be responsible for our own nutrition. No book or guru or blog can take complete care of you. You have to be the most important part of your good health.

I think as the weather warms up all the starts and stops and difficult days will melt away into a much easier time.

Day 46 Forks Over Knives

I'm looking forward to this film coming out - Forks Over Knives.

It about the rejection of animal-based and processed foods - the cornerstone of the standard American diet. Unlike my blog, this one's done by people who have more than my one brain cell. Wow, data, research and findings - OH MY! I don't think it's 100% raw but it should be a good step in the right direction.

I'll be sure to post updates about it when they become available. You can also sign up at the film's website, Forks Over Knives and get the updates emailed directly to you.

Day 45 That Bright Shiny Object? Closer Than It Appears

photo credit ♥.·•Lovely Haru!•·.♥@flickr (seriously...)

You may not realize it, this just being Valentine's Day and all, but there are only 157 days left til the first day of summer. You've rolled your eyes at me, but I did detect your split second heart rate increase. Yes, I did.

If you do absolutely nothing different between now and then you'll spend another summer wishing you were fit and trim at the beach in your new orange bikini. Or whatever rings your bell. Speaking of which, I guess the only logical choice was to put the pink bikini on the doll with pink hair but I oh so wanted to see it the other way around *shrug*

Seriously, if you're one of the 17.2 billion of us who suddenly have that gigantic bright shiny object in the sky come out of no where, leaving a wake of frumpy sweat clad wearers behind, maybe now would be the time to make some inroads...

Today I ate 2,567 raw calories, banged out 2.5 miles at a 4.0 average pace and swam 1 mile - which was 60 straight minutes. I kinda love what's going on with this. I walk around in impossibly baggy sweats, sometimes two pair at a time because it's freakin' cold here. I wear plain, non-descript shirts and over-sized jackets. I toss my hair into a pony tail and forget the make up. I look 'like crap' most of the time. No one sees me. I'm completely invisible. I walk through the market and no one notices me. I go to the gym and though I have less clothes on, I don't have fancy work out stuff. My racing suits are ratty and I'm glad. I'm the invisible woman. I could have gone dancing on both Friday and Saturday nights - the two best days of the entire year thanks to Valentine's Day but I stayed home. On purpose. I washed oranges. I did laundry. I was happy.

Why? Because this is time for me. Just me. I don't care what anyone thinks. In an hour I could dress up and look 'hot' by some standards but that's not what this time is for. This is time for me to finally take care of me, work on my diet, my body and my life. I've never consciously devoted any amount of time, much less a year to the care and feeding of myself. Oh, yes to quite a few others - boyfriends, daughter, my elderly mother, former ungrateful spouse, squirrels, birds, dogs, cats, fish, hamsters, neighbor pets - but never myself.

When would be a good time to start taking care of you? What will you do with your next 157 days? What will you do for yourself over the next year?

Day 44 The Two Types of Raw Food People

photo credit Libraryman@flickr

There are basically two types of raw foodists:
Raw Gourmet and Raw Low Fat.

1. Raw Gourmet. Many people initially embarking on raw food start here. They recreate as many SAD (standard American) diet recipes with raw food as they can. There are websites and glossy magazines devoted to fancy, beautiful raw food. So you have people making fancy stuff as well as pizza and White Castle sliders and crackers, etc., from raw food and you end up with a diet that can be as high as 80% fat and with as many health problems as they had before. Salt also runs a bit rampant in this mix which holds its own health problems.

Besides this flying in the face of proper food combining (a whole 'nother topic) they don't eat a high ratio of fruit and this is the downfall of the gourmet raw foodist - you have to consume enough fruit everyday to make it work. You simply cannot get enough calories from greens, zucchini and tomatoes - you would eat endlessly all day and never make it up. Furthermore, you don't just need 'calories'. You need specific things from those calories. If that were not true, we could all just blissfully chow down on Ho Ho's for the rest of our days and be thin, beautiful and healthy. Right.

1 cup of spinach leaves is only 7 calories. I eat 6 cups a day, sometimes more, but 6 cups are just 42 calories. Wow. Why bother? Well because of the minerals - that's why you'd want to eat those lousy 42 calories. You need that, particularly if you're in your first year. Calorie-wise, you need much more than that, obviously. On good days I eat around 2500 calories so what else am I gonna eat to make that up?! You have to eat high calorie fruit. In fact, this has to be the mainstay of your diet so you replace your glycogen stores. This is why we crave sugar in the first place: To replenish our glycogen stores - the fuel we run on all day.

Granulated sugar will never serve your glycogen stores properly. You'll just need tons and tons of it over and over and it's not the right stuff, so you'll just feel and look like crap. No one ever got thin and healthy eating large amounts of refined sugar and that's a fact. Only whole food (fruit) will meet your bodies requirements - and probably for the first time in your entire life. Wow.

If you eat enough fruit you will never crave sugar again. I have cravings sometimes if I've not eaten enough calories in a day but to my surprise they are never for sugary things because my glycogen needs are finally being met. I admit it's a relief to no longer crave sweets. So what do I crave? Stupid crap like McDonalds cheeseburgers. When I crave that, I know I just need a couple hundred more calories for the day. I finally learned how many calories a day make me tick. It's around 2500.

It's different for everyone but everyone who is a low fat raw foodist or low fat raw vegan needs a lot more calories than you're probably eating now. I've never eaten that much a day on a regular basis in my life. I had to work up to it but it feels good now :)

Those who don't make their calories up in fruit make it up by default in FAT instead. Lots and lots of nuts, tahini, possibly oils and the sad thing is, nuts in America are DEAD. Unless you get them from small independent farms, thanks to the USDA, any nuts you buy in the stores have all been heated - cooked - no longer raw. If you claim to be a raw foodist and you are eating heat treated nuts - you're no longer a raw foodist. You can't even buy them at Whole Foods. An independent store might have them. The way you can tell they are dead is they will not sprout. You're basically eating fat gravel You'd be better off fat-wise on a SAD diet where the fat is around 35-45% than do that to yourself. If you buy nuts locally you need to ask if they've been heat treated. Ask if they're sprout-able. If the person doesn't answer you with conviction either way, yes they're certified raw, they will sprout or no, they've been heat treated and they will not sprout - don't buy them.

Besides the fact they're not raw, even if you buy raw nuts you need to understand that fat will never fill your glycogen stores and you'll be forever craving everything you were trying to get away from in the first place, including your health issues. You cannot make up your other 2458 calories of the day with nuts - aka FAT. You need fruit.

You also need to know that too many nuts will start to affect your teeth. People think it's the sugar in the fruit when they start to have dental problems from a raw food diet, but fruit is not the culprit. It's the nuts. They stick to the teeth and embed in between far more than the fruit ever does. You can rinse the fruit down with water but the nuts stay adhered. Trust me on this one - cut the fat - forget the nuts! I eat some pumpkin seeds once in a while but I'm pretty much even over that. Bottom line - you don't need nuts at all.

Which is not to say you don't need some fat. I track my food everyday and if I need fat, I eat a half an avocado last thing of the day, all by itself. That's it. My body has all night to process the fat, I get to 'sleep on it' and I have no active fruit in my system to get bogged down in the fat - causing blood sugar issues. AH! There is much to learn.

2. Raw Low Fat. Those who eat simply fruits (80%) and vegetables (10%) and fats (10%) and those really into it take the time to learn about food combining (which is not recipes...) and they are adamant about exercise daily. They never try to recreate any of the former SAD foods they ate.

I'm of the 2nd group if you couldn't tell by now, but I'm considered 'transitioning' since it can take a year to fully adopt a raw low fat diet. Wow - just my luck I've set aside a year to do just that. HA! Those who are 100% low fat raw vegan absolutely never, ever eat anything they're not supposed to - not ever. That's why they're considered 100%.

I'm doing better than most people I'm told with my transitioning - mostly because I'm doing it in the public eye so I don't want to cheat or fall back or transition slowly. It's a little tough but I get there nearly all the time. I'd say once every two weeks something stupid happens and we're talking one item - not a Thanksgiving dinner or binging for days on end. It's one item - like some popcorn or a few bites of my daughter's pasta. It's OK. I pay the price which is huge (very painful) and learn once again why I don't want to do that.

The great part is I always get back on the horse, unlike other 'diets', and that's because this isn't just a diet. It's a lifestyle and once you embark on it, it's pretty compelling. Just one example, often gourmet raw foodists are still over weight even a year down the line, they have bloating and digestion and other chronic health issues that they really should be able to get relief from. All dedicated low fat raw foodists are very trim and cut, their faces and bodies have redesigned themselves in the most fantastic ways and they've eliminated their bloating and digestion issues as well as a myriad of health issues. Cut the fat. Up your fruit. Change your life!

As far as all the raw food info out there, a good rule of thumb is if the person is selling you supplements and hawking 'super foods' you might want to take their raw food info with a grain of salt. If you're 100% low fat raw vegan - you won't even have any salt! If you're really doing raw food you wouldn't need processed 'super foods' or any other strange processed preparation. Just RAW FRUITS & VEGETABLES.

Low fat raw vegans/foodists take little if any supplements. I thought I needed calcium recently but upon tracking saw I was actually above the RDA. I supplement Vit D in the winter and I'll supplement B12 as this is a concern for ALL vegetarian type people, but let me tell you - I needed B12 even when I ate meat and many other meat eaters do as well. So there will be no more blaming the veggies ;)

Day 43 Pilates Free - For ME!

When I lived in L.A. I used to attend Pilates classes. Let me tell you, it's a LOT harder than it looks. Sleek little machines with shiny cords and hand holdy things - what could be easier? Well after they scraped me off of it the first time, I had respect.

I moved shortly there after to somewhere the word Pilates didn't even exist. That is until QVC. My friend, a quirky 6'2" guy, saw it on TV and thought that was just what he needed to tone up his already rock hard body.

I remember him telling me about it on the phone. It sounded like a Pilates reformer. But surely he did not just buy a reformer, did he? His description left me confused. He couldn't really read the writing on the side so I was clueless. He's a true country boy who has somehow managed to unwittingly slather metro all over himself.

When I saw it I said, "OMG you have a PILATES REFORMER!" He gave me a bewildered look. Even HE didn't know he was doing Pilates - despite the fact it says right on it: Pilates Power Gym. My friend isn't the most literate or worldly guy, but he's genuine. It cracked me up.

Well, I was secretly jealous of the sleek little steel machine with all the bells and whistles. He was doing the coolest work out around and didn't even know it. At about $300 there was no way I could ever get one. Anytime I'd visit I'd look at it with envy.

The good thing about QVC, however, is they always have something new. Couple that with the fact my friend is a QVC addict and you have a marketers dream. When he gets home from late shift he's always seeing what the latest greatest thing is on TV. I can't even begin to name the various interesting gadgets he has in his house now.

Last night at 3 am he calls me.

He said, "I have a gift for you. Would you like my machine thing that you love?"
"Umm - your Pilates thing?! OMG, what? Really? YES!", I said emphatically.
He said, "I saw a new one on QVC and I just ordered it. I'll bring this one over tomorrow afternoon all oiled and cleaned up for you. Happy Valentines' Day!"

Wow! So right on time my cool new gleaming Pilates reformer shows up, complete with the DVDs it came with.

Now I just need to find the time and motivation to use it.

Day 42 Week 6

photo credit Jennifer Chait

For week 6 I walked 1 mile, did not get any swim time in, which is not to say I had no exercise at all. I did. It just involved the clean up of an enormous mess which pretty much ate up 16 hours of my life in the last week rather than the preferred walking and swimming I usually do.

This week I ate 23 bananas and 54 oranges. To date I've walked 27.15 miles, swam 6 miles and have eaten 165 bananas and 121 oranges. Since my orange consumption is so high I thought it'd be fun to track it. Thank heavens no one is asking me to track baby spinach leaves! In other news, yes, Lori's bananas did come from the same farm as mine. I bought both batches but on different days. Hey, it was fun for me!

Well another difficult beyond belief week. Not having food on Monday just kicked my butt and I continued to live the after effects the rest of the week. I'm trying to get a grip on my food and exercise and sanity. I'm determined to win despite most days being pretty tired and needing a nap. My sleep is really messed up at night. I'll sleep 3-4 hours and BING! I'm done - up all night! Then I crash at 5pm for 2 hours. Yes, it's perpetuating it but honestly, that 5pm sleep is like the BEST sleep ever. I am so warm and happy and I sleep SO well. I decided to go with it today and hopefully things will sort themselves out over time. Maybe I just need to start counting sheep.

My goal is to start to get to the gym first thing in the morning, after my daughter gets on the bus. I'm usually so messed up from not sleeping all night that I just come home and go back to bed, then the day gets away from me and my daughter gets home and that's all she wrote. I'm told I 'have' chronic fatigue syndrome but I don't really like that label. I'd like to think I can FIX it, despite the medical profession being useless other than to assign labels to people. I am not doing that great with it right now but I've not lost hope. I have to wonder if a better label would be 'chronic bullshit' instead of chronic fatigue. Yes, I think that's a better title. The crap that goes on in my life wears me out. Like I said last week, I need some changes. I'm working on them. Maybe God will smile upon me soon.

6 weeks down, 46 to go!

Day 41 Making Up For Lost Time?

photo credit Rocketeer@flickr

Imagine my surprise when I realized I'd logged over 2700 calories for today - and I'm still hungry! What's up with that? I made sure I drank enough water (sometimes we confused hunger with thirst...) and I took a nap and took it easy today. Am I making up for Monday, still? I dunno but that's a new record for me. I'm not worried about it. I don't expect to 'gain weight' at all. Isn't that wild? In the past that'd be considered a banana split day for sure and I'd be beating myself up.

I'm getting a lot more used to eating what I want and not worrying about it. I don't feel like I've lost anymore weight this month but I did a quick waist measurement and lost another inch off my waist. That was pretty exciting. My hair seems to be oddly a lot longer all of a sudden, too. I won't measure til the end of the month but it's very noticeable. Ah - the power of oranges!

I've not been at the pool due to the weather and icy roads. Which is not to say I couldn't hop on my treadmill but I just haven't. Monday killed me, burning something like 3300 calories for the day on no food. I just want to get over this week and get on with it. It's the best I can do.

Day 40 Frozen Orange Juices Futures

photo credit artsydots@flickr

If you've ever seen Trading Places you'll laugh at that title and the pic! I'll bet you a dollar that orange can be reformed! Truth of the matter is it's FREEZING out and last night I bought a fabulous *new* orange squeesher thing (juicer...) and I was excited to be snowed in today to use it. We open it up and it seems someone else already had the same idea. I cannot believe that Bed, Bath and Beyond sold me a USED squeesher. GMAFB!

So this afternoon I head out against my better judgment into the great white-out. They took it back, gave me a *new* squeesher and off I went. Had trouble getting home but finally made it. Let's not do that again.

I hand juiced my oranges this morning but I'm not feeling too well 'cause I did way too much yesterday, didn't eat and made myself really sick. 12 hours of sleep later and some OJ I'm doing a little better but my energy is still lagging behind. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day with plenty of fresh orange juice.

Day 39 Some Days Chicken. Next Day Feathers.

This photo sums up my day exactly

I had a very long and tedious day today cleaning up a total mess. There was no time for myself and no food. I packed food for my day but left it on the counter :( It's freezing beyond belief here and after a 12 hour day with no food I'm just beat. Some days chicken. Next day feathers. It just happens. I grabbed something later but it wasn't the best thing and now I'm sick. Tomorrow will be a better day.

In other news I bought a new orange squeeger thing. You know, a thing that juices oranges :) I'm pretty excited about it. At least I think I will be once this awful bone piercing exhaustion wears off sometime tomorrow.